surviving heartbreaks

As a kid, I've always thought of Cinderella as my future love story. But now, being 16 and loveless, I wonder if I'll ever have a love story.

You know those songs which tell you that someday your prince will come and whatnot? And those people who tell you true love waits? Well, I guess they're true. If not, I'm hoping them to be. Everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone deserves a happy ending. Yet, if these are true, why do we have heartbreaks?

As Taylor Swift's song goes...

'cause when you're fifteen
and somebody tells you they love you
you're gonna believe them

Good thing nobody told me that when I was fifteen. (I was thirteen back then. Haha. :p)

Okay, the point is... High school (well, for me, that is) is not exactly the place where you'll find the person you're looking for. But if you did, well then, good for you. It's hard to say that you love someone when you're below, errr... 20? LOL. But trust me, wait for at least one year before you say that because you might regret it. Boys are generally immature during high school, no offense. And us girls, well... we take things too seriously... which, err... complicates things. So, it's not really a wise idea to go on with this stuff. But, as they say, there's no harm in trying. Grab all the opportunities you can get. Or else, you might even regret it more when you let it get away.

It's confusing already, right? LOL.

Anyway... What I'm trying to say is this: You can try, but don't take it too seriously. Leave some love for yourself. Because if you don't... What will happen when things go wrong?

You can cry. Cry all you want, cry like you're in hell. Just make sure that after you cry, you won't cry EVER AGAIN for the same reason. As the saying goes, there's no use crying over spilled milk. Also, NEVER EVER take revenge by hitting on someone else. That would be just too cruel.

And one more thing, don't play with people's hearts. May it be a bet, two-timing, or any if the sort. No questions asked. Just don't.

*la-la-la-love*

If there's something more hurtful than breaking up, it's got to be one-sided love. You haven't even started, but you're already heartbroken. But who can blame you? Especially if that person is sooo damn irresistible?

Step 1: Love yourself first.

How can you love someone if you don't love yourself? Also, how can someone love you if you, yourself, can't do it? Being happy about who you are and being true about yourself creates a gentle aura that radiates love and warmth. If you are happy and contented with who and what you are, people will see that. And if you're done with that, you can finally find someone to share that overflowing love of yours. ü

[Side note: take note that you're finding someone to share the love. I don't believe that you're an incomplete person when you don't have someone special. That's just cruel. It makes single people feel bad about themselves, and it's definitely not helping. Remember that having someone special love you back is a BONUS, not a necessity. Because for the necessity part of love, you have your family, your friends, and yourself for that.]

Step 2: Know him/her.

Be friendly and start a conversation. Learn more about the person before making the move. If you don't, how will you know if he/she is really "the one"? A lot of people believe in "love at first sight". Sorry, but I don't. I believe in attraction at first sight, though. But love? I think it goes through a very long process before it goes to that. Love is... well... love. The measure of love is loving without measure. I mean, you can't say that you love someone because he/she is smart, attractive, perfect, etc. Because those things fade... Even kindness, and whatnot. (Ever heard of Alzheimer's? mood swings? periods? oops.) I mean, love isn't only a feeling, a verb, whatever. It's also a commitment.

Step 3: The keyword is "try".

Muster up some courage and let him/her know. It doesn't necessarily have to be a confession. Making him/her feel special is good enough. Those simple (yet sweet) things like good morning texts, wishing him/her luck on his/her English report, asking him/her how he/she did in a Math quiz, and other things that can make him/her feel special. It doesn't matter if you don't prepare a grandiose birthday party for him/her. Even just remembering the little things about him/her is already special. However, when you feel that he/she still doesn't get it, maybe it's about time you tell that person that you like (take note: like, not love) him/her. If it doesn't work out, skip 4.

Step 4: Discover.

Getting the boy/girl of your dreams isn't the end point. It doesn't mean that it will all be smooth sailing after the big "yes". You still need to make an effort to make the relationship interesting and worthwhile. Discover things about the two of you. For example, the name of his/her first pet, his/her second-grade crush, his/her nickname at home, and others. I mean, it's not only his/her favorite food, favorite drink, favorite color, and favorite song that's important. There's always one more thing that makes a person special. Try to figure out what that is. :)

Step 5: Have your happy ending.

It doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not. Don't mope around just because you and your bf/gf are having a fight, or just because you're single. There's more to life than dealing about your problems. You can always be perfectly happy, and you know that. You just won't accept it. Move on. There's no use crying over the past. You can't change it. Besides, nobody said that having a bad past will affect you're future. Be resilient. Know what is good for you and do it. If your past didn't work out for you, then don't make it stop you from building a better future. Just never ever forget yourself. If you do, go back to step 1. :)

I made this 5-step guide for myself. But I always get stuck in step 3. :3 haha. Anyway, I know that I'll get to step 5 soon. Even if I skip step 4. :p anyway, hope I helped. ü

Before I go..
Credits to: *tooooooooot* (because without you, I'd never learn how to deal with heartbreaks. :p), M. GYNETH colubong ("the keyword is try"), WENDI azurin (because I suddenly felt like blogging this after your recent blog post. xD), and KIM tagorda (your plurk: "The measure of love is loving without measure") :D

Ciao!

- shad0wmaiden