honestly policy

Heck, I'm such a hypocrite.

Here I am talking about honesty when I couldn't even be honest towards my own family.

I'm an embarrassment to the community.

My mom keeps on nagging about this... about how I'm more open to my friends than my own family. Sometimes I just want to shout and tell her that she's not the only one feeling bad about it. I hate how she tells me that I could tell her everything and how she tells me it's okay then she uses my secret against me in the future. Like, seriously? What the hell. Why don't you tell me that it wasn't okay in the first place?

I wish I could tell her, but I was raised not to talk back to elders. I hate this.

I hate how I want to tell them badly how I feel, how I want to shout, how I want to yell, how I want to cry and just throw a tantrum. Damn society. Damn you all.

If you didn't put our family in a pedestal, we wouldn't have to act all princess-y in front of you. It's your damn fault why I wasn't able to enjoy my childhood, why we weren't allowed to play outside of our gates, why my sister used to hate me. Damn you.

Thanks to you, I didn't know how to fight for myself because I got used to having someone fight my battles for me. Thanks to you, I can't even shove this in front of your faces.

Seriously, thank you. Thank you, society. Thank you for making my life a living hell.

But I'm done. I'm done. I'm done with all the bullshit that you randomly decide to throw my way. So what if I can't tell my family about this? So what if I'm closer to my friends? WHO EFFIN' CARES?

Well, guess what society, I'm in better terms with my sister now. I don't care anymore if my mom thinks it's unfair. Blame the generation gap, whatever. I'm not listening anymore. I won't be feeling guilty anymore for things that I am not responsible for. Trust needs to be earned. It doesn't matter whether you're family or just a friend. Trust cannot be demanded. 'Nuff said.

We are all hypocrites. Society is a fucked up system. That's something we can't change. We just all have to live we it.